Like a Ham-Strung Faun!

The Canadians won against the Russians last night. Vangelli’s lost. I couldn’t believe the cars on Broadway! I had to park three blocks away; everyone was out in the bars watching the hockey/Olympics. That meant that, ‘Refuse to Sit Down’, had an almost empty house. The crowd wasn’t there, and, neither were most of the comics. It was just myself, ‘The Knight of the Dark Countenance’, and, ‘The Knight of Much Menace.’ To put together a show our ‘Court Jester’ made a last minute call, and, ‘The Black Knight’, sauntered in, late, to save the day.


It was fun, but very difficult to get a strong audience reaction. Nobody was sitting at the tables immediately in front of the stage; that meant a huge distance between the comic and his audience. I even took the Mike for a waltz around the dance floor to get a little closer; it didn’t help much. Bad audience? No! Bad comedian! However, I did get to try a lot of new stuff. I have some really awkward puns, and they’re awkward because, to be believable, I have to appear not to quite understand what I’m saying. So, I put Julie in my act:

“My wife is supportive.

I couldn’t do this without her.

Because ...she writes all my lines!

Says she feels like a ventriloquist!

What does that make me!!!???

She says I’m just her, lil’ Delivery Boy!”

I did get laughs ...but no roars! More important, I got through the material in a way that was acceptable to me. I was amazed that the strongest reaction was where I f—ked up. Audiences love to see a comic sweat; it’s kind of perverse actually. So ...I faked a sweat! I told them that our, writer/delivery boy, arrangement worked well ...except when we argued, then I never know what I’m going to say! “We argued this morning”, I said, “and she said the most hurtful thing!” “She said that I...” and here I ‘forgot’ my line, looked desperate ...finally pulled out a card ...realized it was a totally bizarre shopping list ...fired it at the wall ...and finally admitted that I couldn’t go on! Did they swallow it? Pretty much; they were moving in like a pack of wolves circling a ham-strung faun; wouldn't that get your goat?! Then ...I remembered!

Next week is the extravaganza! Three television cameras, and, hopefully, a packed house! I had a chat with our ‘Court Jester’; he’s a clever boy, and I’ll have to re-think this whole contest. I’m sick of re-thinking! I wish I could get it right the first time! I’d thought that the event would be decided by an audience vote; ...not the case! CJ told me that it would be judged. “Where”, I asked, “do you find judges for a comedy contest? His answer showed just how clever our CJ is: “Booking Agents!” That really will even out the playing field. I don’t like taking comedy seriously ...but now ...I’ll have to!