Scot on the Saskatoon Rocks!

Billy Connolly is a big name in international comedy, and, on Thursday, Nov. 18th he performed at TCU place in Saskatoon; I attended. I’d seen more of his movies than I had of his comedy so i arrived at the venue in a state of high anticipation. It was good.

The first thing I liked was that the show was scheduled to start at 8:00 pm, and was begun within five minutes of that mark. One of my fiercest pet peeves is being seated for an event on time and having to then wait an hour or more for the show to start.

Mr. Connolly started out slow, as is appropriate for an entertainer 63 years of age. Also he had the luxury of lots of time to work with; I’d went expecting perhaps 90 minutes of entertainment, and he provided two and a half hours, (that’s without a break). It wasn’t just myself noticing the laid back pace of his opening, my Bride noticed the same thing, and mentioned later that early on she’d wondered whether she could sit through the entire show!

Connolly is more of a ‘personality’ comedian, and it takes a few moments to get the audience comfortably familiar with that unique personality; once established, it was off to the races. Bill Cosby had a similar style; personality infused story telling where the narration could wander for formidable lengths of time unimpeded by regular punch lines. Once the hook was set the show started moving in a brisker manner, and I enjoyed it, with no damage more serious than a stretched slightly beyond maximum capacity bladder. My Bride was swept up as well.

There were a few things I found distracting. First amongst these was what Connolly calls his, “Fuck-fuck-fuckety-fuck”; I’m never offended by swearing, and admit that in shows by Canadian, and especially Saskatoon comics, the four letter flow can be astonishing. However, I don’t pay $60 to sit for 2.5 hours and be either offended or un-offended by words that can be detected in every work-site, office or schoolyard. It is, to me, a waste of breath, and never to be confused with talent; on the other hand it does sit comfortably with his persona.

Next on the list of, ‘why bother’, was what seemed to me a repetitive ‘stretching out’ of jokes, all the while accompanied by irritating reminders to the audience that they were indeed being led down the garden path. ‘Humour Helper’ is palatable to some, but I like steak, and, had the stretching and the ‘fucking’ been eliminated what would have been left would be a little short of a two hour show.

Last item on my ‘bitch’ list were the many times the comedian bent double in apparent laughter at his own stories; I don’t care for it ...unless it’s genuine. The only time, to my eyes, that it could be genuine would be in spontaneous exchanges with the audience, and I saw none of those. When you can put on a seamless 2.5 hour show the odds are that, in all likely-hood, you’ve heard your own material before. In most cases, heard it so often that you couldn’t possibly find anything funny in it. Canned laughter sucks even if it was canned by the artist himself.

All told, a very generous slice of entertainment. My Bride and I left feeling that we’d got more out of the show than the $60 we’d each invested, and both of us like Billy Connolly more after the show than prior to it.

Smokin' Fool!

No comedy this week, there just weren’t nuthin’ worth laughin’ at! My only opportunity was on Monday night, but I came down with a nasty little flu on the weekend, and, while a man on stage with fever and chills might be hilarious, especially if he’s caught up in a relentless nicotine craving, the humour would only be apparent to the observer. Yeah, that’s the other thing, I quit smoking on Monday; between being sick, and having no sickerettes, I had a few interesting days.


Yesterday I was beginning to come around, so I went to Toastmasters, where I was Chairman for the evening. There is little similarity between Toastmasters and stand-up, but the latter could benefit from the ‘organizational skills’ of the former, and the former could benefit from the ‘humour skills’ of the latter. And me? Last night I sure could have benefited from a smoke, but, I persevered, though I felt that I’d perish!

The job of Chairman is fairly straight forward; most of the work is done in advance and consists of slotting a whole bunch of varied activities and people into a tight two hour agenda, (and we do like a tight agenda!) Last night I had to chair a business meeting, and then introduce impromptu speakers and three people who were doing prepared presentations. It went fairly well, although early in the evening, while standing at the front, I could feel sweat trickle down my back; I’m not sure whether this was caused by the presence of flu, or the absence of nicotine!

All told a good evening, although it was sort of an extended nicky fit, especially afterward on the drive home. Today I feel almost myself again, it’s just ...I sure could use a cigarette!

Two Faced Fool!

I don’t know very much about Comedy Clubs, having performed in them only three times so far, but, at the same time, I have noticed a couple differences between them and the standard set-up for a bar act. The main difference is that Comedy clubs are easy, especially if you are a moderately funny person. When you go to a Comedy Club, the comedians perform just the way they do on television.


Main differences:

• In a Comedy Cub the set-up is as close to perfect as can be. The audience is seated fairly tightly grouped around the stage; this is guaranteed either by selling reserved seats only, or by starting out with less seats than are expected to be needed, and only adding to them sparingly as the need arises.

• The sound and lighting are appropriate to the setting.

• The ceilings are low to keep the sound of laughter from vanishing into the stratosphere.

• There are minimal distractions on the walls around the stage and seating area, and, just as important, the bar is situated at the rear of the room with the lighting muted, and no seats around the bar.

• Finally, and most important, all the members of the audience not only came to see a comedy show, but, paid for the privilege, and have no wish to be deprived of it.

In a bar the atmosphere is completely different:

• Seating is completely haphazard; those patrons interested in seeing the show seat themselves as they please, and generally avoid the area immediately in front of the stage. Regulars who may or may not be interested in the show will be situated as they please throughout the room.

• Sound and lighting range anywhere between atrocious, and a little bit better than atrocious.

• Ceilings are high, and doorways and open spaces are random, allowing the sound of laughter that may be generated during the performance to disperse without becoming viral and infecting other audience members.

• Distractions abound; everything from windows, televisions, high traffic entering and exiting the kitchen, as well as the fact that the bar and serving area are the focus of the room.

• God only know why the patrons of that particular local are there on that particular evening!

That is, I believe, the list of differences that necessitate a fool being two faced; he must behave one way in a comedy club, and often, quite differently in a bar setting. I’m realizing that I have been developing my act with, (unknowingly), a Comedy Club in mind. That is fine, in itself, but the fact is that there is a scarcity of Comedy Clubs in this, and most other areas. Bar acts predominate here, and, I suppose, a comedian must prepare accordingly.

For example, let me just look briefly at what happened at Ally Katz the other night; it is a perfect example of a bar that holds a comedy night. The comedy of errors began with tickets being issued for the wrong night. It was billed as a, ‘Comedy Costume Ball’, and this complicates matters as you never know whether the people buying the tickets are looking for a costume ball or a comedy show; I find it a weird combination. The show itself was not opened and brought into line by an experienced MC; the result was the first two acts couldn’t control the crowd, and quickly left the tracks and went tumbling through the weeds!

Now about half the people there that night were regular patrons, and most of those were highly, ‘over-served’. They weren’t interested in a comedy show at all. Now, I suppose that many were of the opinion that the ‘Master’ was way over the line in shutting up a persistent heckler, and, to be honest, I feel the same way. But, it had to be done. The ‘lady’ in question, to my eye, was not expressing a distaste for the entertainment, she was just trying to throw a monkey wrench into the whole evening. I say this because I have seen angry hecklers before, and they speak directly to the comedian, and make impassioned eye contact. The three times I watched the ‘hag’ interrupt the act, she did neither, she looked away from the stage and comic, speaking in a loud voice, but seemingly not interested in having the sentiments expressed associated with herself.

So, was the ‘Master’ too harsh? No! He did what needed to be done; at the very worst he may have skipped a step or two in the escalation of the incident. However, had he not acted quickly and emphatically, the show would have been ruined, not just for the performers, but also for the people that actually paid to attend it. Those are the two faces of a fool; one to please an audience, and one to command it. Whether we like it or not, the latter may be necessary before the former can be brought into play ...especially in a bar act.

Halloween & the Moon Howled!

A lovely Halloween night it was as I left Kinley in the dark and headed to the bright lights of Saskatoon, and the costume ball at Ally Katz. Arriving I saw several ghoulish looking hookers setting off the front door, and a pair of Zombies who had seen better days, though ...not recently! I was ready with my costume; I hadn’t dressed up in years. Well, ‘dressed up’, might be an overstatement; in costumes, as in humour, brevity is everything. That afternoon I dug up an old, battered piece of 2 X 4 lumber, 8’ 8 & 5/8” tall; with that on my arm I went as a couple of old studs!

Inside the attendance was sparse, but there seemed a lot of tension in the room. Perhaps a dozen people were dressed up, and another dozen celebrants were tanked up; the former were there for a costume party, the latter had apparently just shown up earlier in the day, and had as yet to run out of cash, although they’d abandoned sobriety some time before. It was 9 pm, the scheduled show start, and, looking around I spied the ‘Laff Trax’ promotional manager sitting looking forlorn at a table by the stage, (he wasn’t dressed up!)

When I greeted him he was quick to enquire as to whether I heard from, or, better still, seen the Master that day. It seems the Master had not been responding to his home phone, cell, or text messages; “It’s 9 pm,” said our jumpy manager, “the show’s supposed to be starting, he should be here now, or at least have the stage set up.” “Relax”, smiled I, “I was here two weeks ago, and he didn’t show up till almost 9:30 pm, and it was a great show!” He didn’t seem comfortable with my assurances, and explained that the Master was leaving for Europe at 5:00 am Monday morning, and he wanted to catch him this evening to iron out some neglected financial wrinkles.

Just then the waitress came over saying, “You assholes!”, (trust me, gentle readers, I don’t believe that she included me in her salutations), “The tickets you printed for the show gave the date of the Costume Party as the 30th, I was here last night and we had to keep turning costumed patrons away! Some of them are back again this evening, pissed off, hung over, and drunk again!” I was dismayed at how a comedy night at a bar can so quickly devolve; last time I was here I’d been greeted by a host of smiling angels, but tonight it was a small mob of irascible, roistering rabble! Well, they do say that variety is the spice of life!

At last the comics began to wander in; first was, ‘Junior’, the second place winner of last weeks’ Comedy Contest, immediately followed by Myles Morrison. Myles had arrived back in Saskatoon at 5:00 am Sunday morning, after a marathon drive from Los Angeles, California, and was to depart with the Master to Europe Monday morning; he appeared a little dishevelled! Then, the master arrived in a, ‘Top Gun’ outfit he’d received when serving Canada’s armed services twenty years back. It took only a couple of minutes to prepare the stage, then, ...off to the riots.

“Junior” said that he had to leave immediately, the Master considered this and told him that he might as well do a couple minute set; he’d put him on immediately! With no further ado, and no warm up, the Master introduced him. I’d say that the room began to fall apart immediately, but that would be inaccurate, as it had never begun to come together! The conversation didn’t skip a beat, and the table of four drunken men began to heckle him right away. A trooper, ‘junior’ continued through almost ten minutes of material. The Master went outside to talk on his cell phone just as ‘Junior’ abandoned the stage and fled the room. There we sat in a raucous room, with no one on stage. Myles, (who’s always willing to go the extra mile), turned to me and said, “OK, how be I go up and introduce you?” And that was the way it began.

Hold the audience? No! I’d never had a grip on them in the first place! But, the show, as such, must go on. I did my routine while people talked around, over and in spite of me. At best I can say that I didn’t get heckled by the four drunks; perhaps I didn’t warrant their bleary attention. Blithely on I sailed, until, with just about a minute left in my set, a boozy old hag at the back yelled, “Shut up, and get off the stage!” So near the finish line I decided to just continue and ignored her! Finally, I turned the mike over to the Master.

As I gathered my stuff the Master began; he’d hardly started when again the hag shouted, “Shut up, and get off the stage!” The Master cocked an eye in her direction, and, politely, explained that, while there was indeed a stage, he was not on it. Again the hag let her wit take a waltz around her anonymity, “Shut up, and get off the stage!” Patience, so hard to win in this world, is all too easily lost, and this is the point where the Master lost his; “You stupid C--t, if you open your mouth again I’ll come down there and shove my C—k down your throat!”

Having done my bit, and finding the ambience not quite to my taste, I bid Myles good luck and began to make myself scarce! As I passed the table of the four unruly drunks, one of them extended his hand towards me, and mumbled something. I shook his hand, and asked him to repeat himself. It sounded like he said, “You were pretty good ....we’re just here to raise shit!” I thanked him for his kind words, and hit the street! “Too crazy for me!” I thought to myself, but then, I pondered it for a moment; maybe I’m just too modest ...perhaps it’s just ...almost too crazy for me!