24 down on 420; that means just 76 to go and I’ll have reached my ‘first step’ goal of 100 comic performances. The event was the first Pro/Am show for the LaffTrax Comedy Theatre at Beily’s on 8th street. The event was not well attended, but, that is to be expected as it was their first night, it was a Monday night in the middle of mid-term exams, and, apparently, it was not well promoted.
This event was put in order by the Master; LaffTrax is his own company, and the man himself was present last night in fine form. I do like the room, but the seating arrangements are irregular, and it will be interesting to see how it all works out when they begin getting full houses. As it was there were only about 40 in attendance, plus the usual retinue of comics. The comic participants were, in order of appearance, Sir Trent O’ Paisley, Sir Lot’s O’ Laughs, Sir Limp-A- Lot, the Jester, the Crown Prince and, of course, the Master.
Ironic that on 4-20, at Beily’s, a young fellow I know, Shandy, tucked a cellophane package into my tobacco pouch, and said, “Roll us up one James.” Just the type of order I’m usually more than pleased to comply with, but, this time, unfortunately, I had to reply that, “I can roll one for you, but I just can’t help you smoke it!” Poor Shandy was taken aback ...as was the little cellophane package! It left me feeling like the life of the party ...not!
James hit the 'Gallows Grass' Wall!
The sacrifices I make for my employers! They’ve just instituted ‘piss’ tests at work, supposedly on a random basis; we just have no idea how that is going to work. That being the case, this fool is now amongst the unwilling abstentious! I asked my Dr. about it yesterday; he seemed amazed, “You never told me that you use drugs!”, he said! I told him that I’d thought that I’d made it pretty clear on my last visit, just one month ago, when I’d asked whether he could wrangle me a prescription for medical marijuana! He’d told me then that he could only do that if I had cancer; ...didn’t strike me then as a satisfactory trade-off!
I wouldn’t mind if they used the saliva test; that just indicates whether or not you’ve used in the last 6 hours, and I don’t indulge on the job, or before the job, (unless it’s an emergency!) But it will most likely be the urine test and that will nail you for anything you’ve done in at least the last 30 days. If asked, I love to say to the, ‘Blued eyed boy from Brazil,’, “Glad to Boss, but, it takes both hands to control this fire hose, so, if you’d just back off a few feet, and hold that Dixie cup, ...I’ll be happy to fill it for you!” However, I need the money, and I like the winters off, so it’s ... “High?No!, High?No! ...it’s straight to work I go!”
Otherwise it was a pretty good night; Trent had talked about Tiger Woods, so I’d almost decided to begin with a couple tiger jokes of my own, but, when the Jester introduced me he talked about it being 4-20 and the fact that it was also Hitler’s birthday! This followed by a few ironic ‘jew’ jokes; ...sorry ...just could not resist!
“Evening folks,
I must be back in Saskatoon.
I didn’t hear any Hitler,
Or ‘Jew Burning’ jokes,
In Edmonton!
...Anybody know the difference,
Between a jew,
And a roach?
...People generally save roaches,
...From the ashtray!”
I wished that I’d saved it for the last of my set! Wave after wave of laughter! Nothing else I did even came close!
"The Rigors of Marijuana Mortis!"
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