Time To Sit Back Down!

In the last couple months I’ve learned a few things about doing stand up. I was surprised to find how similar I was, in many ways, to the other comedians; in fact, there is only really one difference between myself and them, and that was, simply, the fact that they are funny!


Julie and I were perhaps a little too scathing in our judgement of the two pros I’d mentioned. We were biased, in that we’d walked out, along with another couple, of one of the big productions put on by these two last summer. However, on subsequent evenings, doing the same or similar material, they both held and entertained the audience; I even caught Julie laughing a few times.

Of the audiences I can’t say enough good things; they were always diverse, and, to my eye, always polite, and willing to put up with quite a bit of tedium for what was sometimes meagre reward. How polite were they? I only got heckled once in seven appearances, despite the fact that I went trolling for that response, even appearing in my kilt, which I figured would be sure fire ‘heckle bait’. The occasion in question occurred when I was making fun of Kinley; a drunk at the back hollered, “Where the ---- is Kinley?” I had not anticipated that response, at that time/material, but am happy to report that I was able to respond in a way that got a laugh from the audience at the expense of neither the heckler nor myself, and at the same time answered his question while dissipating any need he might feel to continue the exchange. The only embarrassment in the incident was that, when I came off the stage, the fellow came over to my table, and was quite loud and effusive in proclaiming how much he’d enjoyed my material.

One uncomfortable moment, (or ten moments that particular night), came with a good audience, but, I’d hardly begun, when I caught the eye of a young lady in the front row, who was looking at me with her head tilted, left eye arched, and mouth agape; an expression best encompassed by what you yourself might make at finding a cockroach in your Corn Flakes! It made me uncomfortable, but, I couldn’t stand there and address the material to just her, so, I worked the crowd, (who seemed happy with everything), and returned to her three separate times. Each time her expression had not changed! For all I know that may be just the face she presents to the world!?!

A friend of mine some years ago decided to launch a career as a professional speaker, and that she was going to give her, “Life is a Carnival”, inspirational speech to the local snowmobile club at their yearend party. When she told me this I said, “Well Mary, it’s a great speech; motivating, with a wealth of intellectual/inspirational material, but, these people are all friends, with a common interest, and they’ll have been drinking on the trails all day, only returning to the club for drinks, dinner, and more drinks. You might be better to do something light, earthy and funny.” When I talked to Mary about a month after her ‘snowmobile club’ debut she didn’t tell me much about her experience, just that she’d, “Never do that kind of gig again!” Mary had failed to consider the needs of her audience, or, as I prefer to say, “She’d put Descartes before de horse!”

‘Funny’ is just what your audience laughs at, and that will change from audience to audience. The failure to laugh is never the fault of the audience; nor is there such a thing as a ‘bad’ audience. If they don’t laugh it is always the ‘fault’ of the comedian; he or she has failed to assess and meet the audiences’ needs.

What have I learned from my time in the bars? Well, I’ve learned that I can enjoy a couple hours in a bar; that’s something I’ve never done. I really don’t like being in a crowd, (it’s much roomier on stage!), and I’ve never liked noisy places. I’ve had reinforced the importance of ‘preparation and perseverance’. In the last two months I’ve seen people show up with confidence and enthusiasm, but no preparation, and consequently, no real shot at perseverance. Three people I’ve seen come out for one night, never to return; in each case it was their first, and, I’d be willing to bet, last time. One fellow, a charming City of Saskatoon Transit driver, came out three times.

As it is, without those four, I’m the opening act, or, if you prefer, the ‘comedic cannon fodder’. Of the regulars there, Paul has been doing Stand Up for three years. Anthony, who just came to Saskatoon from the Yukon, has been doing it for over 5 years. Jody, Myles, Jim and Dez have all been doing Stand Up for several years, and are, to a greater or lesser degree, making a living at it. Ask any of them how they were when they started and they only shake their heads!