"Yesterdays' Comic...
...tomorrows' Bear Crap!"
The cast of characters, as sorted by the Master, was as thus:
The veterans – Tommy Savitt, Kelly Taylor, Jody Peters, Jim Fuchs and Paul Voissard, (all of whom can be considered ‘Pros’.
The sophomores – York Underwood, Trent Paisley, Joel Jeffrey, and, James Mackay, (to call me a sophomore, is, in my eyes, punching way above my weight, but then, I didn’t arrange the classification.)
Rookie Draft Picks – Black Rob and Junior Koszmun, (Black Rob has made only three comedic performances, Junior Koszmun, although a DJ for years, has made only eight.)
We had two absentees, Jim Fuchs and Tommy Savitt, (both for reasons that might be obvious did you know them.)
So there were nine of us there to draw for speaking order; the Master said that Tommy Savitt would be showing up late, and, would we mind if, rather than drawing a slot, he was allowed to go on immediately upon his arrival, (this to make it fair, and not just award the last, and most coveted, speaking slot the person not there to make the draw.) We agreed, and it was done, or, so I thought!
So there we were, nine jesters, a full house, and at least four times the service staff that would be there on a normal night, (and they were kept hopping). For reasons unobvious to me, the show did not commence until after 10:00 pm. This to me is a crime; it’s a work night, and most of the audience, myself as well, has to be up early in the morning to get to their day jobs. However, it happens all too often, sometimes due to poor organization, but, I often suspect, in preference to the owners of the facility, who, once having the maximum number of ‘bums in seats’, want to keep those bums there as long as the waitresses are serving!
I heard some criticism of the Master; that, instead of being funny, he was talking up the sponsors, the fund raising draw and the facility instead of telling jokes! Silly people, he was the MC last night, and that is 75% of his job; the other 25% is to do a warm up set prior to the first comic so that they don’t have the disadvantage of stepping before a cold crowd. He did do an impeccable ten minute set that got the crowd rolling to open the show.
By luck of the draw our first and last comics were the least experienced. Black Rob went up first; I’d never seen him before, but, at seven feet tall and fresh out of High School, he did a great job. Junior Koszmun closed the show, and did it very well; I’d seen him perform twice prior to this, and, what can I say? That boy gets better every time I see him!
Again, by luck of the draw, most of our pros went early in the show. Jody Peters stepped on stage his physical presence and mighty voice dwarfing the room, in no time he had that audience smokin’. Kelly Taylor was next, and impressive he was, first lighting up the audience, then setting the place on fire. York Underwood, (whom you’ve heard me refer to as the Jester), was next, and he brought the house down! I hadn’t seen York perform in some months, but, I’ll tell you, he’s really stepped it up a gear! The Master ranked York as a sophomore, but, while I rairly quibble with the Masters’ pronouncements, York has been a professional for over a year, and has been doing tours as a Headline act.
Now, in most Comedy shows you might attend, the arrangement of comics begins with the least experienced, (some might say the least funny, but, both would be right), and proceeds to the most experienced! There is a reason for this: nobody wants to go on stage after someone who was a lot funnier than they are; the expectations of the audience has been raised to a point that your performance may be incapable of meeting! Last night the big comic cannons were fired early on, leaving us snub nosed, ‘Saturday Night Specials’, to take our best shot after the best of the comic carnage! But, it’s only fair when you draw for speaking order.
That said, the rest of us sophomores muddled through as best we could, well, with one exception. Trent Paisley and Joel Jeffery did a fine job. We all have days that are better than others; sometimes we have days that are worse! Last night I stumbled in my comic stride! It wasn’t devastatingly bad, but, I wasn’t happy with it.
I watched the first 6 comics, then, gave myself ten minutes to psyche up for my number eight slot. The Master announced that he’d mislaid his list, and would the number seven contestant please step forward; I ignored it! Little did I know, but somehow they’d given Tommy Savitt the number seven slot, despite the arrangement to have him perform upon arrival! You now had a crowd sitting silent while this was sorted out! A little shaken up, I took the stage, and, while I didn’t completely mess up, I dropped two jokes, and missed one good line, (both unintentionally!) Subsequently I finished at the eight minute mark, but, finish I did. Then, the moment that I’d really prefer you never heard about. I’d placed the mike back in the stand, and the Master stepped on stage to shake my hand, as I turned away, he grabbed the mike! As I stepped off stage, my left foot caught on the cord, and the mike was snatched from the Masters’ hand! I picked it up and handed it to him, then slunk back to my seat, and cowered there, nursing my wounds with a rapid series of double scotches! So, that’s it! I’ll never step on a comedy stage again! ...Until, of course ...the next time! And I’ll be back to tell you about it!
Who won the prize money? I’m not sure. The show was over at 12:00, but, it was going to take a while to co-ordinate the results, so we made our way back to the remarkably un-comic comfort of Kinley!
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