We arrive back at the ‘Whiskey’ just in time to draw our time slots ...I get lucky 13! For my ‘hooker’ joke to work I had to find out where Calgary’s High Stroll was located ...it’s on 3rd Ave ...coincidently right outside the ‘Whiskey’. Rather than a ‘walk in the park’, this gig looks like a ‘stroll on the High side’! The stage is wedged between two windows at the front of the room ...you can see the hookers walk by.
Stu, the organizer of Funny Fest has a chat with us; he’s a funny guy. I know several comics who’ve been short changed or outright robbed by this fellow; you immediately sense the tension between himself and our Jester. Quite a line up of comics, five from Calgary, five from Edmonton, one older fellow from Washington State,and, of course, our Saskatoon contingent of four. The bar itself is a long narrow affair, a little awkward in appearance, but, somehow, it generates great intensity in the audience. At FunnyFest, the ‘Whiskey’, is where all the main acts come after their last show each night, and perform for the other comics.
Because there are so many comics we’ve been asked to keep to eight minutes maximum time as opposed to the ten we’d prepared for. I’d been apprehensive about being tired and unprepared, but, as the evening wears on I find myself in a state I can only describe as, ‘Dead Calm’. It’s a good place to be when going on stage. The place is licensed for 90, and there may be a little more than 100 in attendance, but there is no room for more.
I’m introduced and step on stage; it’s great, the stage is high enough that the audience’s faces are literally at your feet! The two minutes of material I’ve had to ditch was untried stuff which I’d inserted at the beginning, and I’m just as happy without it. The audience responds very well to my material, and I quickly get to the point where I cut up ‘Open Mikers’;
"A comic’s got to do
What a comic’s got to do,
For ‘mike’ time!
But ..there should be a limit!
It’s pathetic really!
People compare us to the girls on 20th St.
And they are girls!
Can’t call them, Calloused Assed Gutter Sluts!
There’s no comparison!
Those girls have some self respect!
Those girls give value for your money!
Yes,Money!
...That’s right Stu...
...Those girls get paid!"
This is a judged event, and at the end we’re all called up on stage for the judges’ decision. Stu announces a $100 award to anyone in the audience who can guess the winner. From the audience response it is clear that they want our Jester to win. However, ‘tis not to be, and someone else is declared. As we leave the stage one of the comics insults our Jester; nothing comes of it immediately, but, the fellow pursues us to the back of the bar. It looks, for a moment, like a brawl is going to break out, but bouncers intercede, and the offending comic is quickly ejected. My money would have been on our Jester; he’s no comic ‘light weight’.
The rest of the crew is going out on the town; I’m tired and decide to go back to our ‘monkey house’, not a bad room really, when there are less monkeys! The rest return sooner than I expect, and they are, well ...restless! Everyone is a little irritated at the housing condition, and a little ticked that the ‘meals’ Stu had promised us in his ‘e’ mail had never materialized. The group consensus is that we should simply order from room service, and leave Stu the bill. I’m not convinced that it’s the best idea, but, it’s what is done, and the rest of the weekend is made entertaining by the flurry of phone calls and text messages generated by this faux pas!
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