"A comic’s got to do
What a comic’s got to do,
For ‘mike’ time!
But ..there should be a limit!
It’s pathetic really!
People compare us to the girls on 20th St.
And they are girls!
Can’t call them, Calloused Assed Gutter Sluts!
There’s no comparison!
Those girls have self respect!
Those girls give value for your money!
That’s right ..Money!
...Those girls get paid!"
I even dressed for the occasion; charcoal grey jacket, black shirt and black and white tie. Black jeans as well; when I put them on I noticed they were the same ones I wore when sealing up the windows in the Fall. I’d gotten some caulking on them and ...that stuff never comes off! I figured they’d be all right for stage though; nothing denotes a credible comic like a cornucopia of caulk jokes! One of the fellows at ‘Friar Tuck’s’ table commented on the jacket and tie; I explained that ‘momma’ had dressed me, and that she never takes me anywhere without a leash!
My bride was a fashion plate for the evening, and I overheard several ladies make positive comments. I love the way fashion plays, ‘Hide & Seek’ with female anatomy! For our night out my bride’s dress had a broad bold slash across her broad, bold bosom! Very nice! It looked like it was designed by, ‘Jack the Bodice Ripper’ ...and ‘Jack’ was a breast man!
After my set I was wiggling my way through the crowd to get a breath of fresh air, when I was confronted by a large florid faced man. This fella’ was more than a little lit, and just a trifle pissy when I didn’t immediately recognize him. He’d been heckling early in the evening, and had had to be informed that, while his presence was appreciated, it would be appreciated more if it was a silent presence! He went on and on reminding me of all the great times we’d had drinking and playing pool. My memory must be going!
After the show I had a chance to nip out to the parking lot with friends. I’d expected company, and had brought a company cigarette! I was quite flattered when the young lady commented on my size. “That’s too big for a joint!” she laughed, “It looks more like a tampon!” Had to laugh! “Don’t do that!”, I said, “It makes them soggy ...and hard to light!”
Now I have to turn my attention to my appointment in Aberdeen Sunday. Then I’ll have to forget this stand-up thing for a while, and concentrate on my little project for Toastmaster’s International Speech Contest. The first level of the contest will be on March 17th. I have my material pretty much written ...it just remains to give it a little spit shine!
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