Spizzerinctum!

“Spizzerinctum”: ‘Drive; as in energy coupled with a will to succeed.’

My drive into ToonTown last night almost came to naught due to a lack of energy, and a willingness, no, an eagerness to secede; to secede from comedy, to secede from the contest, to align myself with my blankets and pillows and hibernate! Just as well that I don’t take my own self too seriously; I continued on to Beily’s, and the last night of the contest preliminaries.

No familiar faces when I arrived, so, I ordered a glass of water and sat back to watch the evening unfold. There were a fairly good number of audience members present, but they are quickly engulfed by, and disappeared into, Beily’s cavernous maw! After about fifteen minutes the Master appeared, accompanied by a chap I have referred to before as the, ‘Black Knight’, Jody Peters. Jody is a local comic made good. He originally hails from the town of Aberdeen, just East of Saskatoon, where he now resides. He specializes in putting on his own corporate comedy productions, and, as a sideline, is often the voice of animated characters in film productions.

Jody came over and sat with me, and we chatted while the Master hustled about in his frenetic preparations. Jody was adopted and raised by Mennonite farmers, and, subsequently, is the only Africanadian Mennonite I know. A lot of his humour is derived from being raised in a redneck Saskatchewan community, (we have lots of them!). While it’s not his usual shtick, he’d been talked into entering the last night of the contest preliminaries.

There were a few other comics present by this time, most notably Joel Jefferies, as well as a couple others whom I’m not as familiar with. The Master got us all together and gave us the ‘lowdown’ on next weeks’ contest, but, I won’t bother you with such trivia here. Then the show commenced with the Master opening; first up was Jody Peters. I’ve seen Jody perform many times in the past, and always find his act dynamic, warm and entertaining; tonight was no exception! He ended with a bit I’d never seen him do before, called, “Black Superman.”

“What would a black superman be like?
He wouldn’t waste time rescuing white people from bus accidents!
No! He’d head to the toughest redneck bar in the American South,
Waltze through the front door while announcing he was looking for white women!
When the gun smoke cleared, Jody continued, Superman would be unscathed,
Bullet proof! Then he’d challenge the white boys to come outside and see who could fly!
But, once in a while, just for fun, Jody went on, he’d allow himself to be lynched!
Here Jody pantomimed swinging from a tree by his invulnerable neck.”

He presented good comedy; his jokes were funny, and, as you can see, some of his comedic commentary makes you wince and smart just a trifle!

Next up was Joel Jeffery, and he presented a good, solid set of his best material, but, for reasons unknown, didn’t seem able to establish a solid connection with the audience last night. Then the Master was up again, and began a comic diatribe about Canada being a country where you can get arrested for blowing bubbles! (Ed. Note: This in connection with an actual event this summer just past, when Canada hosted the G8 summit.) Finally, he introduced yours' facetiously, (while at the same time making just a little fun of me!)

When I was handed the mike, I watched with eyebrows raised as the Master walked away, and intoned,

“Arrested, ...for blowing bubbles?!?”
Sounds like a nightmare of Ricky,
On the, ‘Trailer Park Boys!”

The audience loved it, but I don’t know how well it would go over with people not familiar with Canadian television/movies. Ricky and Bubbles are two characters on our show, “Trailer Park Boys”; if you’ve never seen it, you should, as it gives great insights into the evolving Canadian psyche!

Wow! Best night I’ve ever had at Beily’s! The audience, who had seemed a little cool up till then, perked up and responded to my jokes as though we’d all rehearsed together! Too soon, it was over, and I departed for my one hour trip home to Kinley, and a four hour nap, immediately followed by another one hour drive to work! And it was worth every minute!

Sprezzatura!

Sprezzatura: “Effortlessness”, as in the appearance of; “Practice in all things a certain sprezzatura ...so as to conceal art, and make whatever is done or said appear to be without effort and almost without any thought about it.”

I was sitting listening to the Master talk about comedy a couple weeks ago when he told me, “I like the fact that you rehearse, ...a lot of comics don’t, and it shows, but, perhaps you over rehearse. The audience can sense this, and thinks that your act lacks spontaneity.” I kinda’ like the irony in that statement, an “act that lacks spontaneity”, but, I always appreciate the Masters’ insights, and try to put them to good use. I suppose that, ‘lacking spontaneity’, is preferable to lacking anything to say on stage, or, at least, lacking anything funny to say, but, I see what he means.

When I first began this quest for 100 appearances on a stand up stage, I was terrified of being in the spotlight with nothing to say; ...that does not rank very high on the scale of pleasant experiences! So, I made sure that I had my set memorized to the word; not just, ‘to the word’, but to how I wished to express each word, and I would do my act that way no matter what the make-up of the audience was. But then, in entertainment, the word ‘act’ presupposes a lot of rehearsal.

Now I’m trying to loosen up a bit, and add a little spontaneity to my act. The other night I went on after another fellow talked about the difficulties he had dealing with his girlfriend on what he called her, ‘happy time’. He was talking about when she was on her period, and, while I knew exactly what he meant, I thought his choice of term a misnomer! As soon as I was introduced I addressed that issue:

“We don’t call it, ‘Happy Time’,
At my place.
‘Cause Momma ain’t happy!
When I met my Bride,
She couldn’t say, “Pecker”,
If her mouth was full of it!
So I got her elocution lessons!
She still can’t say it!
But, she can hum a few bars!
So I call it, “Hummer Week!”
That doesn’t do anything for her moods,
...But I’m Happy!”

Spontaneous? Well, ...it appeared that way, and the audience responded well to it. But spontaneity demands more than making, or at least, ‘appearing to make’ lines up on the spot. Every audience is different; for example, you might not want to address an audience of 20 with the same level of enthusiasm and energy that would work well with an audience of 300. The same goes for an audience of paying comedy enthusiasts in a Comedy club, as compared to a small crowd in a local bar. The former are there to see a show, the latter are perhaps there for a variety of reasons, of which comedy may or may not be one.

This last week I had the opportunity to share a Comedy stage with Tommy Savitt, a Pro from Brooklyn, NY, now residing in Los Angeles; I’d shared a stage with him before, but, had not been able to watch his act. Tommy is fairly soft spoken for a comic, and talks with the right corner of his mouth curled down. He’s not very animated on stage; he doesn’t need to be, his words do the talking for him, so to speak. It was, a demonstration in, “Sprezztura”.

His delivery brought me in mind of a pro Boxer working a speed bag; each, ‘punch’ line launched and delivered perfectly, apparently without much effort on his part, but, ...they had impact. Not just that, but he set up a rhythm that was mesmerizing, his jokes unencumbered by excessive verbiage! The rhythm, established immediately, brought a positive audience response with clockwork precision; ...laughter every 15 seconds, or, about every twenty words. He maintained that same rhythm for forty minutes!

I watched him again later in the week; the exact same rhythm, and the exact same words, before a similar audience. I’d love to see him perform in front of a huge crowd, where, if anything, his material would do even better. Tommy Savitt has the luxury of always performing to comedy club audiences, and it’s a luxury he deserves, ...he’s certainly worked for it!

At the same time, I’d like to see how he’d modify it to capture a rowdy bar audience. I don’t think it would work as well before a diverse audience, attending for a variety of reasons, and all at different levels of intoxication, with, perhaps, a hockey game playing loudly on the wall above the bar. I’m sure he’d handle it professionally, but, I’m just as sure he’d have to modify his delivery.

As it stands, I’m to appear at Ally Katz tonight, and I’ll be doing old material, but I’ll attempt to do it in a toned down, conversational manner! Sprezzatura? Not likely, but I’m working on it! Wish me luck!

The Full Mummer!

While anyone can tell you what Humorists, Comics and Comedians have in common, (and the answer of course is “jokes”), I personally find it difficult to say what the differences between each category may be; despite that, let’s pry back their Prankster Personas, and, for a moment, take a look at the full Mummer!

A Humorist, by my definition, has always a message behind his jokes, and his set must be thematic with a consistent point of view. I don’t know too many Humorists, (and, how could you know too many?), but, the finest example that comes to my mind is Samuel Clemens, better known as, ‘Mark Twain’. I believe it was Mr. Clemens who fostered my love of laughter, and I know it was his humour which first reduced me to tears. A funny guy indeed! His material was almost always thematic, a delivery of information and attitude etched in wicked wit. This ‘Thematic’ delivery, of necessity, reduces the proportion of laughs to material; at the same time, because it deals with serious matters, or themes, when well done, the laughs, when they do come, will be huge. John Cantu, of the, ‘Holy Zoo’, a little comedy club that produced Robin Williams, was first a comedian, and then proceeded to become a Humorist. He said, “A Humorist who gets five seconds of laughter for each minute on stage is a comic genius.”

Comics and Comedians have a slightly different challenge; for either to be a genuine success, they must generate a minimum of eighteen solid seconds of laughter for each minute of stage time. Because of this time factor a comic or comedian must toss off any pretence of their material being thematic, or carrying a message; it must be a constant barrage of shock and awe!

While every comic, to a degree, must be a comedian, it is true also that every comedian must have in his repertoire a little of the comic. There was a time I didn’t think that there was a difference between the two, but Mel Brooks changed my mind on that count; he said, “A Comic says funny things; a Comedian says things funny.”

This summer I was at one show in the city, and the comedians I was with were not doing very well; there was little in the way of laughter coming from the audience. Why? I don’t know! Many of us were doing new, untried material, but, one fellow I know went up and did ten minutes of his best material, material I’d seen many audiences howl at over the last year, and he fared little better than the rest of us. Then, a friend of mine got on stage; be began by harassing the audience ...and continued the same throughout his set. It worked! He got more laughter than the rest of us combined! As he swept off stage, and waltzed past our table he smirked, “That’s the way it’s done boys; piss ‘em off, then make fun of them!”

While I’m not fond of that approach, I will concede that sometimes it is essential, and I hope that I’m not often required to perform in a venue where it’s necessary. A friend of mine attended a show put on by two other friends of mine in a nearby community; he is quite familiar with the material of both of them. “It was a great show”, he said, “but both those guy have material that’s comic gold, and none of it worked! But they could stand on stage and tell the audience that they were morons, and they’d laugh like crazy!” He went on to tell me that the audience was only about twenty people due to so many of the locals being in the midst of harvest. Those that were there were already pretty sloshed when the show began, and quickly proceeded to become more so! When they have that much alcohol in them it is difficult to have your ‘wit’ appreciated, and it is then time to let peoples’ natural susceptibility to feelings of superiority take over. It’s one of our baser instincts, and evidences itself most plainly in school kids and drunks, (if you’re ever caught up in a crowd of drunken school kids ...watch out!) Don Rickles was a master of this technique, and, while I was never a fan, I’ll admit that he elevated it to an art form. To me that is a comic; there’s not much ‘comedic’ about it.

At the other end of the comedy spectrum is the comic who, “says things funny!”, and here I’m going to use as examples, Groucho Marx, Steven Wright and Jimmy Carr. These are, all three, masters of writing and editing, and, just as important, polished perfection in their respective deliveries. I love all three, and, to myself, they represent as close as human kind have ever come to pure comedy. Their acts will fill huge comedy theatres with wave upon wave of roaring laughter. At the same time, I’ve been in bars in Northern Saskatchewan where their material just wouldn’t work as well; and it’s in just such venues where a certain aptitude for the other end of the comic spectrum comes in real handy, but ...more on that another time!

Toastmasters, Overdone!

Wednesday evening arrived and so did I, at the Toastmasters Humorous and Impromptu contests. The venue was packed, and quickly overheated. They had combined two Area contests, so, rather than two contests, there were actually four! OK; I was confused too. It did, however, make for an interesting roster of contestants. There were seven contestants in the Humorous category, and I believe eight in the impromptu portion of the evening. With the luck that is typically mine I managed to draw the first speaking slot in each category!


My title for my humorous speech was, “Late Bloomers”, and in the speech I talked about the education system, my own experiences in University, and both my difficulties and eventual success in getting my daughter to University.

My Alma Mater began as an Agricultural College,
And later added a veterinarian college,
Before attaining its’ accreditation.
I called it old ‘FU’, or,
Farmer University;
Others weren’t as kind.
They called it, ‘U of Moo’,
Or, worse ‘U of Goo’,
And, occasionally,
‘U of Moo Goo’.
I graduated, and attained my BS,
That may sound harsh, but,
As any competent farmer knows,
It’s the hay that’s been through the bull,
That puts the bloom,
On the rose!
I left old FU behind,
Older and more manure!

I’d like to tell you that it was a tremendous success, and I won the applause and admiration of all in the room, but ...such was not the case! There I was, in front of a packed room, and I couldn’t seem to be able to scrape together a chuckle, chortle, or guffaw! If memory serves, I did manage to elicit two broad groans, but I can’t really say that this was an expression of appreciation; it might well have been the audience’s note of exasperation at the burden that was being foisted upon them! I found it a little disquieting; even the host of Angels I’d faced on Sunday evening had expressed polite applause!

I concluded my speech as follows:

Nothing gave me greater pleasure than her phone call,
At the end of her first week.
Her joy resonated through the phone line,
“Dad,” she said, “This is where I belong!”
Yes, she is blooming in University,
At a time when the majority of graduates are female.
When I went, university was the preserve of the Alpha Male!
And the majority of graduates were men.
But I was no Alpha Male!
I was just a farm boy,
You might say, a hayseed!
Which makes me, at best,
“Alfalpha Male!”

On the up side, while seven and a half minutes can seem an eternity, it does eventually wheeze its’ way to an expiration, and my time was no exception to that rule. Actually, the seven minute and thirty second mark loomed suddenly, and just a little sooner than I’d anticipated; while I haven’t had confirmation of the possibility, I just may have exceeded the maximum time, and been disqualified. That really wouldn’t bother me, but, the fact that I didn’t seem to get any laughter ...does! This was a sober crowd, and I’ve been mainly been performing in bars; perhaps my humour only sinks in when filtered through several layers of beer!

The two ladies who placed first and second were very good. The first talked about, (as so many do), about the hilarity she found in giving birth. Second place talked about the quirky little thing we remember about occasions and events experienced long in the past.

At the intermission it was getting quite late, so I informed the Chief Judge that I would participate in the Impromptu contest, but would be leaving immediately after completing my role. Impromptu speaking is dreaded by many, and for good reason; you are called to the front of the room where, in front of the audience, the Contest Chair introduces you and announces the topic you are to address! Then they walk off stage, leaving you to perform. The topic I was given was, “Which do you consider superior, living in a rural or an urban setting?

To me the question was perfect! I was raised on a farm, and currently live in a hamlet of 42 people, so, I quickly summed up the pros and cons of both lifestyles, and then admitted that, while my wife and I both loved the cultural and entertainment possibilities of a city like Saskatoon, we preferred to live out where the deer and antelope play, where bears walk through our back yard, and every evening we drift off to sleep serenaded by coyotes. If we wish to experience the riches of the city, ...it’s just an hour away! I concluded thus:

My grandparents grew up in the country,
My parents grew up in the country, and,
While perhaps I never truly grew up,
I am ... “Alfalpha Male”

I found out later that I took second place in the contest, which is just fine by me. However, I’m still perplexed; in my Impromptu offering, the audience laughed! And the best laugh was at the, “Alfalpha Male”, line, which didn’t get a chuckle in my humorous speech. People! Go Figure!

All Fuched Up! (and no place to go!)

I’m a little weary today; got home at 12:30 am, and the alarm went off for work at 4:30. Beilly’s was not bad last night, although not too many familiar comic faces; a fairly good crowd for a Holiday Monday. Found the Master explaining to one somewhat intoxicated comic that he could not perform that evening; it seems the individual in question had been at Ally Katz two weeks previous, and went on stage so drunk that he could not articulate simple words, and that, folks, makes for a really challenging Stand-up act. He was banned from Ally Katz until such time as he has demonstrated his good behaviour; last night was not considered a positive element in that demonstration!


One fellow there I’d not seen before, and he did a so-so set which seemed to evolve around, “Poop and Period”, jokes. Not my tastes to be sure, but, the audience seemed to like it. I stayed till 11:00 pm, and watched the first half of Tommy Savitt’s set; once again he was professional and polished, not to mention hilarious. To no one’s surprise, and to this fool’s dismay, Mr Savitt has advanced to the comedy finals on Oct. 25th. It’s starting to look like an interesting contest.

There were as many people at Beilly’s last night as there had been at Ally Katz on Sunday, but the room at Beilly’s is cavernous in comparison to the other, and crowds disappear into the darkness. They had green spot lights set up for some reason, and every comedian that climbed on stage immediately took on a sickly, Martian pallor.

A good night, with more of the usual hi-jinks, but I can’t tell of it all now as I’m tired and must get myself rested and prepared for my ‘Humour’ contest tomorrow evening. I’ll let you know how that goes; at least at Toastmasters there should be no drunks on stage, and I’d be willing to bet there are no Angels in the crowd either. P.S. Last night makes appearance number 45.

Ally Katz & Angels!

Last night I caterwauled at ‘Ally Katz’ nightclub on main street Saskatoon, and, while perhaps not a howling success, I managed not to get knocked off the fence by a flying boot. I’d never been before, but ‘Alley Katz’ is the Master’s new Sunday night venue, and this was his fifth show there. It was a nice, informal setting, with an audience of perhaps 80; a little older crowd perhaps, than I’m used to, but fairly enthusiastic and appreciative.


There was an assembly of angels in attendance, and, though I didn’t spot a single halo, there were plenty of beards, beer bellies and tattoos. Motorpsycho enthusiasts are comedy fans too, and there’s nothing so endearing to a comic’s ear as a hearty beer belly laugh!

The Master was in fine form last night and informed me that he suspects he and his wife are possibly pregnant again; if this is the case it will bring them to just one short of an official dozen! With those domestic numbers I can see why the Master needs to get out nights; however, just for myself, I think my sense of humour would have dried up by six! You have to admire the man; he home schools them all.

The evening was billed as an entirely ‘pro’ night, and I was both surprised and flattered to be given an opening slot. One of my favourites, the irrepressible Jody Peters, took the second slot on the bill, and reminded the audience that realistically, any citizen of Saskatoon is only one generation removed from the farm. He went on to tell us about his two weeks in Italy, and how tourism is complicated when you travel solo, and have no grasp of the native language.

Tommy Savitt was the headliner. This fella’ won the 2007 Boston Comedy Competition, the 2008 Seattle Comedy Competition and a 2009 LA Comedy Award for Best in Comedy. I’d seen Tommy perform last Spring, but, he is soft spoken for a comedian, and I’d been surrounded by chatty people in a room separate from the stage and subsequently didn’t hear much of his material, though I could see the audience in the main room lapping it up.

Last night I had a much better location, and thoroughly enjoyed his 40 minute set. Many of our local comedians, (and here I include myself), tend to be a little too wordy; Mr. Savitt was wordy too, but the difference was that, regular as clockwork, every fifteen or so words brought a huge laugh response from the audience. A great show and I was left wanting more. Tonight at Beilly’s I’ll get more!

Tonight the, ‘Great Western Comedy Contest’, continues at Beilly’s, and Tommy Savitt is competing! Between you and I, it looks like he might be a contender!

Put in My Place!

Haven't had much time for comedy, but did get in a little stage time at the Toastmasters Humour contest. I talked about education in general, my experiences with it, and, in particular, how my daughter Allison managed to go from a grade nine drop out to her first year in university. It was fun; I went with a tight opening, a loose ending, and a compendium of way too many jokes to place between the two.

A Latvian MBA talked about how the dream of most citizens of former Soviet States is to take a vacation in America, and his own experiences doing the same. A robustly elderly woman of Danish descent did a nicely ironic piece on, “Why?” One lady did a bit on her cats’ toilet training, or lack of same, and my pal, Terry McBride talked about how to manage a frugal vacation in Norway.

I was also ‘persuaded’ to go into the impromptu portion of the evening’s contest, and was given, as my verbal assignment, the question, “Where do you find inspiration?’ It was fun, and funner still to listen to how the other contestants responded to their own questions.

When all was said and done, I managed to squeak into forth last place in the Impromptu Contest, and a steady, second last in the Humour Contest. To my mind the funniest person there was the Danish lady with her ponderings on, “Why?” All told, a fun night.