Sanity?...More Than I Can Bear!

Winnie the Pooh?

No! Wrong Province,

And already taken!

Have to be...

'Sassy the Shit'

For Saskatoon,

or

'Kinny the Crap',

For Kinley!

Last night, returning from Beily’s, I caught, out of the corner of my eye, a geenormous dog loping down my street. My Bride awoke upon my arrival, and I mentioned the ‘dog’ sighting, adding that I’d never seen that big a dog in Kinley! This morning, while making calls to see whether or not to go to work, I saw something sauntering along the edge of my lawn, a big black dog ..no! ...make that a ...bear! I called my Bride, and, together, we watched as it loped across the lot next door, and disappeared behind neighbour Dean’s shop! I have to quit doing mushrooms before work in the morning, and, ...so should my Bride!

Un-bearable badinage!

Beily’s was a mixed success; I did seven minutes and thirty seconds for a PAR score of 24, which breaks down to 14 seconds of positive audience response per minute. This was not full audience response, but scattered laughter and applause ...even a groan or two. On the ‘up’ side, with one exception, these were all new untried jokes, and the one repeat I’d done three times in the last two weeks. So, with new material, and considering that I’d just spent 10 hours pushing hot asphalt across cold asphalt, I was fairly happy with my reception.

“Went to Waniskeiwin Saturday!
Had Traditional Native
Bison and Cheese Pizza,
On traditional Bannock crust,
Probably made in Traditional,
Tee-Pee ..zzaria!”

I was surprised that some of my atrocious puns received applause, and, less surprised that, while I got good response from some, for the most part I failed to hold the crowd. 14 seconds of laughter per minute aren’t to be sneezed at, but, it falls way short of the feeling you receive when getting massed laughter of 24 seconds per minute from the whole audience. I talked a little about all the rain, and admitted that I didn’t mind getting wet:

“If I had my choice,
...I’d live in a placenta,
...Filled with beer!
...A womb ...with a brew!
Overlooking ...a Bush!”

I would have loved to stay and see how the other amateurs made out with the crowd, but, bed and Bride were calling. I really resented having to miss seeing our Headliner, Tommy Savvit, from L.A.; from what I heard today, he was excellent! There is no Vangelli’s this week, so, if the Parktown is in the cards for Saturday, I’ll go with tried and true material, most likely a partial selection of what I’m going to do next Wednesday for the, “Great Plains Comedy Festival”, at ‘BUD'S ON BROADWAY’.

As it turned out, I drove my Bride into work today and was allowed to return home for yet another, ‘rain day’! I haven’t worked more than three days in each of the last two weeks, and the weather forecast calls for rain every day this week! I wouldn’t mind being semi-employed, if I was fully compensated, but ...I ain’t! Then, these early morning wild life visitations; I’m not sure whether I’m losing marbles ...or gaining bears!

P.S. While putting this together, Kinley Counsilor, Jill Leslie, who I'd talked to about the bear infestation this morning, called to say that, after consultation with our Mayor, and, greater authority, her Mother, there are bears, and frequent bear sightings in our area. 30 miles north of here I'm told that a fellow I know has had black bears living on his acerage for the last two years.