Our mission was to tear down a couple miles of barbed wire fence; this task is trickier than it first might appear. Half of our fence had ceased to be a fence years ago, the posts rotted, the wire buried under tears of accumulated dead grass. It would be best to simply bulldoze the mess into a hole and bury it, but, the farmer wants all the material saved; this is usually a ploy to get a new fence built on the RM cuff; it’s his material, we can’t throw it away if he wants it saved, but, he’ll find his refurbished fence fantasy foiled by the fact that we took pictures before we began de-construction. So, he will get his pile of rotten posts, and rotted barbed wire in four foot chunks, but, protests will be futile.
Bitch of a job, but, ...we road workers are true sons of Ditches! Frustrating too, as you wrestle with rusted wire only to have it rend every few wretched feet. Greg tells me that I’d arrived for the ‘candy-assed’ end of the operation; the previous day he’d been assigned as life guard for floating moose! This particular moose had been floating for two weeks, and he and his ‘pen-pal’ assistant were able to discern its’ whereabouts about a mile before they caught sight of it! Randy, with a backhoe, had been sent to render assistance in coaxing the reluctant Alces alces upon the bed of a pickup truck. Randy is one of those Sasquatchewanians I’ve mentioned before, of Ukrainian extraction; a big rough and tumble lad, whose description of his personally preparing a wedding feast of perogies and cabbage rolls for his bride and guests, I found endearing.
The moose was quickly partially ensconced in the back of the truck, with legs protruding over the sides, and long neck hanging off the tail gate, leaving it’s head to bounce along the road! Then, the problems began; the moose had attracted some one point seven five million famished flies! The Air conditioning in the truck would not function in the 28 degree heat! For obvious reasons the windows had been left down, and, within minutes the front of the truck contained just as much stench and flies as the back; roll up the windows, but, too late! Now began a long trek to the gravel pit to bury the malodorous moose!
Just when you think that your day couldn’t get any worse, the unloading began! Three times the backhoe tried to pick the over ripe rancid road kill from its’ pick up bed, but, each time ...failed! The fourth time was sort of a success, however, its’ guts succumbed to pressure, and escaped ...in ascending order! (ed. Note: that’s, “through the ass end!”) In no time the carcass was reintegrated and buried, leaving more than just a whiff of its’ past presence! So, yes, there are worse jobs than standing around all day pulling your rotten wire!
As it turns out, Greg had attended the Great Plains Comedy Festival Gala on the Saturday night, and, in the same week, saw Joe Rogan in Saskatoon. Rogan is a comic, not to mention an official commentator for the UFC. I was sure I’d heard the name before, but I couldn’t put either face or fact to it. When I had time I looked him up, and, yes, I’d read about him in an article on plagiarism in StageTime magazine! Here, from Wiki, is a synopsis:
“On February 10, 2007 at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles, Rogan argued on-stage with Carlos Mencia, accusing him of plagiarizing other comedians' work.[1] According to Rogan's account, he had just finished his act and introduced the next performer, Ari Shaffir, as a comedian who opens for "Carlos Men-steal-ia".[2] Mencia took offense and walked on the stage. Rogan then accused him of stealing jokes and falsely portraying himself as a Mexican American. The Comedy Store later canceled Rogan's shows. The entire incident was filmed as part of filming for Rogan's internet reality show, JoeShow. It was then made available to watch or download at numerous websites, including Rogan's.[2]
According to Rogan, he is currently banned from the Comedy Store for violating the club's request that he not film his internet reality show there.[3] According to Rogan, his agent and publicity firm (who also represents Mencia) demanded that he either apologize to Mencia or else be dropped from the agency. He chose to leave the agency.[4]
Rogan has claimed that Dane Cook performed a bit on an episode of Premium Blend that Rogan had developed on I'm Gonna Be Dead Someday (sketch titled "Tigers Fucking"), and claimed to have performed the routine earlier in clubs with Cook present.[5]
Rogan has also strongly criticized Denis Leary for allegedly plagiarizing Bill Hicks.[6]”
I didn’t make an appearance on any stage this week; I had no new material for Beily’s, and decided to skip Vangelli’s in order to do a little writing. I’ll try to go at least twice this week, which means that this weekend will be devoted to putting together 20 minutes or so of new material. New material is easy, however ... ‘funny’ new material, well ...not so much so!
Claymore:
Cowardly Canine Cur!
Loves Ground Squirrels,
But, ...Prefers 'em Sliced!
They say that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks; Claymore is over three, and, up to now reacted to all other creatures in two predictable ways. If they were smaller than himself, the little fellow wanted, earnestly, to be friends! If they were larger, the little fellow wanted, earnestly, to be elsewhere as quickly as possible! What you might call, ‘A chip off the old coward!’ However, the little fellow has discovered gophers, and this seems to have brought to the fore whatever ‘killer’ instincts he may possess! Now he just has to find his own, ‘stealth’ mode in approaching them; his wild barking, galloping attack is just too easy for the potential, ‘playmates’, to avoid!
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