I’d like to say this errand was fool proof, but ...I’d be lying to you. About a mile from the shop the air brakes locked due to a faulty valve, but this was nothing that couldn’t be cured through a brief huddle and some simple mechanical administration. Then, on our way again, your somnolent sentinel securing the rear. I’d had a late night Wednesday passed in futile, foolish fashion, and was surprised to find myself wakening flat on my back on the asphalt at the top of Circle Drive, peering into the murky mechanical mysteries of our ‘chip-sealer’! Ahhhh! ....our fan belt and power steering belt had come loose from their moorings; this explained both the excessive steam, as well as the damn’d machines’ stubborn reluctance to change course in mid-traffic stream.
“A wrench, a wrench! ...My kingdom for a wrench!” On Wednesday we’d asked our boss if we might not retrieve our tools from the asphalt truck we’d left at a local shop. “Don’t bother,” we’d been told, “you won’t need them!” Just an update on the truck; when the head gasket blew, we’d asked if we could get it towed to a shop. The response was, “No! Drive it! If it blows up, so much the better!” So we drove it. It did blow up. It is now awaiting parts for a $10,000 dollar overhaul, if, that is, they can find 35 year old parts for it. Anyhow, a quick call to RM headquarters, and a ratchet set was soon sent our way. Got it all apart, and found a little bolt had to be replaced! Another, ‘sit and wait’, on the freeway, then it arrived, and within minutes we were on our way.
Finally, nearing our destination, we were safely travelling on un-trafficked dirt roads, as directed. Then, much to our surprise, we found our path flooded; the thought of burying our cumbersome behemoth in Saskatchewan’s encompassing clay, while tempting, would likely get us in too much trouble to merit the risk! We back tracked, and finally arrived at our appointed destination. Time spent: 7 hours. One new bolt: 50 cents. A completely wasted day: priceless! I forgot to mention that our ‘chip sealer’ kept the trip interesting by occasionally refusing to turn to the left, although it was always willing to turn right! This reluctance is tolerable on a construction site when travelling at two miles per hour; on a freeway surrounded by pissed off people travelling at 110, ...not so much so. When we brought this mechanical malady to the attention of those in authority we were told, “Don’t worry about it, it was doing that three years ago!”
On Wednesday evening I’d attended Vangelli’s at 9:15, and was surprised to find none of my comic comrades in attendance. One of the staff commented that I was the first one there! Outside for a breath of fresh air I was finally pleasantly surprised at the arrival of Jim and Lady Fooks; they too were puzzled at the poor attendance. Finally, at 9:50, with no further friendly faces hoving into view, I decided that my time might be better spent pressing the sheets at the side of my Bride, who can be depended upon to be sleeping where and when she’s supposed to be sleeping there. It’s nice to know that there are some things in life you can depend upon.
I’m not sure what failed to happen on Wednesday evening; perhaps just an unannounced re-arrangement of the schedule. I have taken note of the fact that Beily’s will now be scheduled to start at 10:00. All this means to me either a little less comedy, or, perhaps, a little less sleep; possibly a little of both. In any case, ‘There’s no fool like an uninformed fool!’ That's performance #39, and holding.
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