Sunday is ‘World Laughter Day’, and I think that we should all honour it with a moment’s silence; last night at the, ‘Laugh Shop’, I did just that! Not that I’d intended to on my 28th performance, but, as they say, ... ‘A Fool and his Mike cord are soon parted’.
When my Bride and I arrived at the ‘Laugh Shop’, the first thing I did was check out the stage and the mike... everything seemed in order. I had an introduction typed out for the MC, but, that would do him no good as he, (Mike), is blind, so we went over it verbally. Part of Mike’s opening goes like this:
"When I was twelve they found I had Diabetes,
And told me I might go blind,
At fourteen they told me,
...If you don’t stop masturbating...”
When Mike was introducing me he ‘gapped’ on the name ‘Kinley’, so I prompted him from the wings. All was set, with a great crowd of over 150 people; I did my first two lines with the ‘mike’ in the stand, then started to remove it, when... it disconnected!
I couldn’t understand why this happened, ...couldn’t pause to consider the possibilities, ...just had to deal with it! I never wear my reading glasses on stage, so it took me a couple of seconds to see how the connector aligned. These seconds are excruciating! Some guy yelled, “Can’t get it in the hole?’ I glanced in the direction of the voice, smiled, and said, “Sometimes,” this got a good laugh from the people in the audience close enough to hear. Finally, it was ‘live’ again, ...now I saw the problem, the cord was wrapped around the stand four times at the base!
Some Comics just can't hold their 'Mike!'
This took again a couple seconds to rectify; then, the stand in its proper place, behind me, I could begin again. But, as I started, I found the ‘mike’ cord stuck to my foot! I couldn’t stop talking again, and managed to remove it; the culprit? ...Three inches of the cord was wrapped with two sided tape! A small nightmare that seemed to last an eternity, but, after reviewing my tape, took a total of 23 seconds!
Then I was off and could go sit with the other comics; Dawn, from Edmonton, Trevor, from Rosetown, Sk, and our main attraction, Jason from Milton, Ontario. Both Dawn and Trevor are ‘opening’ acts, which means they generally do about a half an hours material; the former with 4 years experience, the latter with 8 years.
Dawn followed me; she’s an aboriginal lady, a playwright with four plays to her credit, and an ongoing TV show. She began by, (shamelessly to my mind!), ‘riffing’ on one of my lines.
“I’m a comic, so I still live in my parents apartment,
But I don’t like making out with my boyfriends there!
Yes! ‘James’ isn’t the only one who’s been, ‘up at the crack of Dawn!’
So we make out in the parking lot!
I just wish my boyfriends had cars!”
My Bride and I enjoyed the rest of the evening. There were many highlights; too many to mention. There was a ‘Birthday’ girl there in her early twenties, and her party was addressed by the MC and some of the comics, but, I’m afraid she’ll not recall much of it. When I went out for some fresh air after my set I met her on the stairs, obviously at the ‘tipping point’ of intoxication, and she gave me a slurred thanks for attending her party. Later, when Trevor and I went out for more of that same fresh air, we met her again; birthday parties are a tradition at many comedy clubs, and the celebrants all take their best shot, but, this lady had been beset by way too many ‘shooters’. She was crying and apologising for making a fool of herself; it’s a shame but, ...birthday parties have a way of becoming way too old ...way too fast!
I was enjoying talking with Trevor, when a young fellow, leaving the show, stopped to tell me how much he enjoyed my material, and shook my hand. Inside I gathered my stuff and collected my Bride; the assistant manager came over and thanked me for coming out, adding that I was invited back anytime! Good stuff!
I ran my ‘set’ past my ‘Comedy Evaluator Pro’ first thing this morning; I went 5 minutes and 55 seconds, for a ‘PAR’ score of 34, which means an average of twenty seconds of laughter per minute. The best minute was #5, with a PAR score of 55%, or, 33 seconds of laughter per minute; so, despite the ‘screw-ups’, I’m more than happy with my performance! Some day my fantasy will be realized! A 'PAR' score of 100% ...man ...that'll be cool! Don't say a word ...just stand there and enjoy the applause! (Can't see it happening any time soon!)
No comments:
Post a Comment